tiaras optional

"My only argument is with those who do not view the world as cynically as I do." Michael Korda

Friday, April 25, 2008

Two Post in Two Days?!

Ok, so that last post wasn’t perhaps the triumphant return it could have been, seeing as it’s only my second post this year. But things are really quite dull lately. And you should see the topics I considered but didn’t write about:

1. How this season of One Tree Hill totally sucks. Yes, the previous seasons also sucked, but in a compelling can’t look away sort of way, not in a do they really expect me to watch this crap kind of way.
2. How I have recently developed an allergy to cats. And I how I am totally bitter about this because I love kittiez.
3. How I cleaned out over 1000 unread messages from one of my email accounts, forcing me to confront the fact that I am (a) lazy as all get out and (b) possibly addicted to shopping since the bulk of the messages were store notifications. That actually could have been a good post, but like so many addicts, I’m not yet willing to admit I have a problem.
4. How I am still number one on Google for shrinking breasts. Actually, I would be hard-pressed to write an entire post about this, but I just couldn’t help sharing (much like the original post).
5. How I’m thinking of breaking the no white until Memorial Day and getting a little crazy.

Consider yourself lucky.

In the fall, I started a new job, and I work a lot. I have a firm “no blogging about work” policy, so this leaves me with not much to write about being that other than work. I suppose my life is a bit dull. And lately, I’ve actually been sleeping reasonably well, so I don’t even have my insomnia posts to fall back on. I have thought about just giving up the blog entirely, but I can't quite bring myself to do it, so I guess it’s just not time yet. But if I’m not going to let it die, I really need to make an effort to post now and then. So, I should be back now and then.

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Wednesday, April 23, 2008

What Is It with Me and Birds?

Sometimes, the week just starts off badly. Having jury duty on a rainy Monday certainly qualifies as the bad. Coming thisclose to being on a jury but getting off at the last minute counts as the very good. I was hoping that was going to be the theme for the rest of the week.

Sadly, my hopes were quickly dashed. Yesterday, I left the office for lunch for the first time in months. I figured, lovely day, why not? I should really have learned by now to ignore my occasional fits of optimism. On the way back from lunch, a bird shat on me. And it was so efficient at doing its business that said business landed on my hand, my bottle of lemonade, and inside my jacket pocket. Inside my pocket. That bird had some aim.

I would pass this off as an unfortunate occurrence, but it’s the fifth time this has happened to me in the last 10 years or so. They say that a bird crapping on you is good luck, but isn’t it supremely bad luck if it keeps happening? I don’t do well with birds in general. In addition to voiding themselves on me, I have other issues. A pigeon once flew straight into my head. I’m not sure which of us was more shocked. I promptly ran home and scrubbed my head for a half-hour because, euww gross, pigeons.

At this rate, I’m expecting my life to turn into a scene from The Birds any day now. Except with scarier and more realistic looking birds. (If I can have Tippi Hedren’s wardrobe, I might be able to live with this.)

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