Does This Make Me Look Fat?
I had a doctor’s appointment today, and they weighed me. I can’t say I enjoy stepping on the scale, but it’s not that big a deal. My weight is always pretty much the same, give or take two pounds. Sure, I’d like to lose 5 or 10 pounds, but I’m still in a single-digit size, so I’m not worrying too much about it (and I’m really lazy, I hate exercising, and I love drink and food—yes, in that order). So, the nurse’s aid tells me to hop on the scale, and I do. And the scale reads 224. 224!
The nurse’s aid doesn’t say anything or act like this is unusual, and I notice that the scale can register weight in pounds or kilograms, so I figure that is my weight in kilograms. I know what you’re thinking right now, but please remember that I was educated in the
The next person to arrive on the scene is a physician’s assistant student, who is studying with my doctor. She takes a brief history. She asks me if I use any illegal street drugs. (Does anyone actually answer “yes” to this question at the doctor’s office?) As she is typing into my chart, she says, “Well, that can’t be right.”
Me: “What?”
Me: “Oh.” I am truly bewildered by the thought that the nurse’s aid actually thinks I weigh 224 pounds. I know weight is hard to guess, but she added about 100 pounds. Damn it, I knew this shirt makes me look fat.
Student: “Hmmh, I can’t figure out how to change this. I’ll have the doctor fix it.”
Well, predictably, the doctor doesn’t know how to fix it either. Apparently, there is no provision in the system for correcting mistakes. What happens if they type in the wrong diagnosis? (Oh, did I type cancer? I meant canker.) So my weight is now 224 pounds. Which means I have a BMI of 36. Anything over 30 is considered obese. Anyway, they should be pretty impressed at my next appointment by my amazing weight loss.
10 Comments:
At 8/26/05, 11:45 AM, bryc3 said…
haha, you wash yourself with a rag on a stick.
At 8/29/05, 5:30 AM, Big Sky Girl said…
honey, you better get that fixed. If you apply for new health insurance htey will call the doc to ask to confirm your health info. So if you put down 124 and they say 224 they could raise your premium. Nasty.
At 8/29/05, 3:06 PM, Lady Tiara said…
this is what my mother keeps telling me. i'm going to check with my doctor to make sure it gets fixed. i don't really trust their exciting new electronic chart system.
At 8/29/05, 7:48 PM, bryc3 said…
for fuck's sakes, if you're going to get this much spam at least make it weight loss-related. lord knows you need it.
on a related note, at least they've got you figured out. you know etta, the chainsmoking, homeowning, cable tv-having chick.
At 8/29/05, 9:02 PM, Lady Tiara said…
dammit. i'm gonna have to do that word verification thing i suppose. for a while, it seemed like the spammers had missed my humble little blog, but they've found me.
At 8/31/05, 8:24 PM, Miss Penny Lane said…
That nurse's aide needs to go back to school. She can't tell just by looking at you that you're not morbidly obese? I would seriously talk to the doctor; not just about the WRONG INFO ON YOUR MEDICAL RECORDS, but about the incompetency of her nurse's aide.
At 9/1/05, 12:21 AM, bryc3 said…
hey take it easy on the aide, etta's not not morbidly obese.
At 9/1/05, 3:15 PM, Lady Tiara said…
i was somewhat concerned by the fact that the nurse's aide, despite working in a large ob-gyn practice, seemed to have no familiarity with basic terms you might hear in such an office. she got hung-up on the spelling of ortho-novum (for anyone who doesn't know, it is a *very* widely prescribed birth control pill, something you would think the aide might have heard of before). of course, i didn't realize she was blind.
and no, i am no obese, because bryc3 is my friend, and he hates the obese, so he wouldn't hang out with me if i were.
At 9/1/05, 8:15 PM, Kathryn Is So Over said…
Etta, you should know one of my friends read this post after clicking over from my blog, and IM'd me just to say how funny he thought it was.
I assured him you are not obese.
Just wanted to pass on the compliment.
At 9/6/05, 8:35 PM, bryc3 said…
i totally smell a new IBF
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