Happy Birthday to Me

It’s my birthday today. I am now an age that dare not speak its name. This will the first year in recent memory that I have not had a big party (I am going out to dinner with a few friends tonight, so I will be doing something). Those parties were great, I always had a fabulous time, and I loved it, but I just don’t have the energy this year. We’ve thrown many parties, get-togethers, events, and shindigs in our current place, and I’m just feeling lazy about it. Also, it about 7 months, I will be throwing what is probably the biggest party of my life, so I suppose I’m conserving my energy for that.

The passage of another year is perhaps a time to take stock. At the risk of being overly introspective, I have been thinking about where I am and where I am going. On the plus side, I have a career I enjoy and a job I also enjoy most of the time. I’m not sure that I will do this forever, but I imagine I will stay at least connected with my field. I am getting married to an amazing man, which is a very good thing. I can’t say that I was ever obsessed with getting married, but at least now I can stop having disturbing thoughts about dying alone and being found three weeks later half eaten by an Alsatian (thank you, Bridget Jones, for that image). I still don’t know if I want to have children, and my rapidly aging ovaries are probably begging me to make up my mind already. I have great family and friends around me. I have prolonged my adolescence for as many years as possible and enjoyed almost all of it. Maybe growing up isn’t so bad after all?