tiaras optional

"My only argument is with those who do not view the world as cynically as I do." Michael Korda

Friday, September 23, 2005

Kate Moss Does What?

This Salon piece does a decent examination of the hypocrisy of the fashion industry in dumping all over Kate Moss just because she got caught doing drugs. (The holier than than attitude is utterly ridiculous. A hot, rich, super-thin supermodel who dates a junkie does drugs? Yeah, that’s shocking.) Unfortunately, the writer ruins it all in the second paragraph with this statement:

“Moss and her band of wraiths not only drove insanely beautiful but fleshy models like Cindy Crawford and Kathy Ireland from magazine covers…”

Kathy Ireland? Insanely beautiful? Sorry, but that is just all wrong. Ireland may have been a “supermodel” in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue sense, but she was never a true supermodel. For me, the true supermodels will always be the ones like Linda, Christy, Naomi, and Kate. The ones who wouldn't get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day. Models like Ireland may make millions appearing in Doritos commercials, but does she inspire Karl Lagerfeld? I think not.

(I really should go read some Wittgenstein or something to get me back on a more intellectual track after this rather vapid post, but I just can’t help it. I miss the heyday of the supermodel. I even gave up my Vogue subscription because they keep putting actresses on the cover instead of models. Less Renee “Scrunch-Face” Zellwegger and more Natalia Vodionova, please.)

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Thanks, But No Thanks

Gift-giving can be fraught with peril, from finding just the right gift for someone to graciously accepting weird or unwanted gifts. Kathryn’s post about Christmas being thrust upon us made me think about the whole gift-giving process. Frankly, I’m a little sick of it. When I was younger, I really enjoyed it. I was one of those annoying people who started shopping in September and had it all done by Thanksgiving. But I’ve been doing this for a long time now, and I am fresh out of ideas. I have actually suggested a couple of times that within the family, we just make donations in each other’s name to charity. I am the only one who thinks this is a good idea. Apparently, I am some sort of Communist who doesn’t want to support our great American economy by giving and receiving a lot of useless crap. Here are a few examples of my weirder experiences with the gifting process.

This reminds you of me?

Years ago, I was exchanging gifts with a friend that I had hooked up with a couple of times. I’m not sure why we were exchanging gifts, since the situation didn’t really call for it, but somehow it happened. I gave him a book I knew he wanted. He gave me a Lenox china serving fork and spoon. I figured it was a re-gift or something he found at his parents’ house, but he said that he saw it in a store and “I thought of you.” It was very pretty, but completely unsuited to my lifestyle as I was then living alone in an apartment with a miniscule kitchen, my freezer and fridge rarely held anything more than vodka, champagne, and a couple of lemons and limes, and the only entertaining I did involved lots of alcohol. I am still trying to figure this one out.

No, really you shouldn’t have

A long time ago I lived with someone I call Mr. Ex. His mother really wanted to give him a crockpot when we moved into together. She was obsessed with crockpots. Is there a Society for the Promotion of Crockpots? If so, she’s the president. After he refused the offer, she cornered me and spent an hour extolling the joys of cooking with a crockpot. I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with crockpots, but they are designed for people who know at 7 a.m. what they will be eating for dinner at 7 p.m. I am not one of those people. She tried to convince me that I needed a crockpot, and I politely declined. Or at least I thought I had. A few days later she called me up to let me know that she had bought me a crockpot for my birthday, and although she was sorry to “spoil the surprise,” she wanted to let me know so I wouldn’t purchase a second one for myself. The funny thing was, it was April and my birthday was in August. Early gifts are always nice, but this was sort of ridiculous. I never used the damn thing. It disappeared two moves ago.

The lousy gift Hall of Fame

Some of you may have heard stories about my aunt before. She is known for many things, but particularly for giving ridiculous gifts. She claims that she gives great care to picking them out, but I think she just walks into a random store, says “eeny-meeny-miney-moe,” and thinks, “Wow, wouldn’t my sister/cousin/best friend/son love that.” When I was 11 years old, she gave me a little red and white outfit. It had a huge set of lips on the front and another set of lips across the back (in satin no less). Just what every mother wants to emphasize on her pre-teen daughter: her budding breasts and ass. Sometime in the 90s, she gave me a green velvet baseball cap from the Gap. This gift was bad enough, but as I opened it, she announced “Look, I have one too. Now we can be twins.” Shudder. The pinnacle of awful gifts has to be from Christmas 1997. I opened an oddly shaped package to find a Franklin Mint Commemorative Plate of the late Princess Diana. I was completely speechless.

Isn’t it time to call a halt to all of this? I’m going to try the donation idea one more time. Maybe everyone will be feeling extra-charitable this year in the wake of Katrina.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Matching names to faces

I made it to the blogging happy hour and actually managed to stay long enough to meet people this time. In attendance were Kathryn on (the organizer; I like to think of her as the Julie McCoy of the DC blogging scene), the Boy, theVP of Dior, DC Cookie, DC Sports Chick, Rock Creek Rambler, Strange Violin Music (formerly Dating Hell Diarist), the Asian Mistress, DC Bachelor, and no doubt lots of other people who showed up after I made my exit. I left on the early side because I knew today was going to be a long day. Unfortunately, I feel like death today, despite taking it easy. Damn, I should have just kept drinking.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Oh, that explains it

According to this interesting profile of Anderson Cooper in this week’s New York Magazine, the New York Observer refers to him as “the emo-anchor.” It’s like all my worlds are colliding. The article also reveals that CNN is concerned about possible stalkers, including one woman who sent Cooper a teddybear dressed in a suit and tie in the colors he wears on air. When he didn’t acknowledge the gift, she showed up at CNN looking for him. Really, Anderson just doesn’t strike me as the teddybear type.

Drinking it up with fellow bloggers

Don't miss tomorrow night's DC Blogger Happy Hour. Local 16. 6:30. Be there.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Random Thoughts

I’ve been taking a bit of a break from blogging. I’ve been swamped at work, and writing has been a real struggle. I attempted a couple of hurricane-related posts, but I wasn’t happy with any of them, so I didn’t finish them. After witnessing so much utter devastation, I just couldn’t pull my words together. I have been wanting to help in some way, but other than giving to the Red Cross or other relief groups, there wasn’t much one could do from up here. Now that the relief effort is fully under way, there are more options. I’m not planning to hop into a boat and start rescuing people a la Sean Penn, because, well, I know my limits. Tonight, I’ll be gathering up boxes to give to a local group who is working with a Baton Rouge food bank. They’ll be sending down truckloads of supplies, but the first step is finding boxes. I know it’s not much, but at least it’s something concrete I can do.

I heart Anderson

Some of you may know about my long-time hearting of Anderson Cooper. (I know we don’t pray at the same church, but he’s still scrumptious.) Some of you may mock me for this, but his kick-ass reporting from Mississippi has confirmed my affection. Give’em hell, Anderson (not a phrase I ever thought I would typing).

The Gulf Coast may be in tatters, but let’s talk about some real news

This quote from The Scoop about the next season of The Simple Life just made me sigh:

“[A] source says that the producers of the show are trying to figure out how they can proceed even though the two aren’t speaking to each other. “They’re trying to figure out ways to do it where Paris and Nicole don’t appear in any scenes together,” says the source. “They’re really having to think outside the box.”

This should be a challenge, producers. Or maybe you could just remind them that you are paying them each a gazillion dollars and they damn well better start talking to each other.

Did you ever wonder what happens to confiscated designer knockoffs?

Well, wonder no more:

“The bona-fide designer outfits collected at the Crobar party may be a welcome respite to certain fashionable flood refugees, who have been forced to suffer the indignity of wearing "knockoff" designer duds donated by the Department of Homeland Security. The agency has sent $138 million worth of counterfeit clothes confiscated by the feds — pretending to be by designers like Yves St. Laurent and Tommy Hilfiger — to needy evacuees.” [from Page Six]

Because I’m sure the refugees are really worried about their clothes right now.

Could this be the best reality show ever?

Fox is planning a new show called Skating with Celebrities, which will be basically Dancing with the Stars, except on ice. Scott Hamilton will host, and the “celebrities” include the original Buffy, that annoying guy from Full House that Alannis Morisette wrote that song about, and the kid from Different Strokes who wasn’t Gary Coleman. The skaters include Nancy Kerrigan and Kurt Browning. I’m really surprised they didn’t try to get Tonya Harding. That would have really added an interesting dimension. Even without Tonya, I’m pretty darn excited.