Some Random Thoughts and Rambling Rants

1. J. J. Abrams, I am so over you.

Lost is driving me freaking crazy. It’s like time doesn’t move on this stupid island. I am really sick of the flashbacks that take up half of every episode, time that could be better spent on some actual action. We’ve had to sit through two long, drawn-out flashbacks this season, neither of which told us anything new about the characters. About 50 minutes of screen time was wasted to drop three clues: 1. Jack’s wife killed Shannon’s dad. 2. Jack has met Desmond before. 3. Michael gave Walt a stuffed polar bear when he was a toddler. Couldn’t these flashbacks be shorter? And now that there are going to be a bunch of new characters, are we going to have to sit through flashbacks for all of them too? (Is there something wrong with me that I find Desmond kind of hot? That uneven Irish accent and crazy stare just do something to me.)

And don’t get me started on Alias. You killed off Vaughn?! Just because Jennifer Garner had to go and get herself knocked up with Ben Affleck’s spawn and apparently doesn’t want to have to deal with ex-boyfriend Michael Vartan, he has to die? Couldn’t Mrs. Affleck just suck it up? Also, it is extremely difficult to believe that he is dead, despite that fact that he was shot about 20 times with a machine gun and he flatlined on-screen. You see, on Alias, no one ever dies. So far, Emily, Sydney, Evil Francie, Sloane (granted, he was only dead for a few minutes), and Irina (twice!) have come back from the dead.

2. Nick and Jessica, Paris and Paris

Blah blah blah. Give me some scurrilous gossip about some celebrities I actually give a shit about.

3. Friendster: no longer an anonymous stalking tool

I am days late in the discussion of this. And there really isn’t much to add. Yes, the new feature whereby you can see who is checking you out sucks, but it is sort of interesting to see who is checking you out. Of course, you can opt to be anonymous, so I’m sure everyone will do that, and this issue will quickly die. Still, I would like to point out that when I emailed a bunch of friends about this, our discussion quickly devolved to a competition over who had the most views. I won with 23 last month. Apparently, this means I am a “slut.” Whatevs, I still have more views.

4. My next of kin

The other day I was cleaning out a backup email account that I rarely use. Somehow, the Nigerian scammers have discovered this address, and they are getting slightly more clever. They now know my last name, so the 42 messages were all tailored to that. Apparently, a doctor or engineer by the name of Larry/John/Robert/Pitt/David/Harry [Tiara] and his entire family died in a car/plane crash. They are willing to give me 20/30/40 percent of his estate as I may be his “next of kin.” Has anyone ever fallen for these messages?