Really annoying celebrities

Today's topic is celebrities I can't stand. A few weeks ago, I would have said Paris Hilton was at the top of my list, simply because she's completely annoying and lacks any reason for existence, but hating Paris is just so easy. She gives you so many reasons, it's hard to even work up any enthusiasm these days.

So I am having to try a little harder with annoying celebrities. Among my latest annoyances are:

1. Sienna Miller. Why am I confronted with this woman every time I look at US Weekly? And I open up this month's VF to discover that she has made their "Best-Dressed List." Best dressed? She wears peasant skirts and cowbow boots for crying out loud. In VF, she lists “anything to do with animals” as one of her fave charities, yet in the picture she is wearing a fur vest. She cares about animals except when they are being clubbed to death? She is famous mainly for being Jude Law's fiance. Her other big claim to fame is her role as Keen Eddie's annoying British roommate (who I was convinced was played by Melissa George of Alias fame for months, before Brian finally convinced me otherwise. Guess that shows what an impact Sienna's performance had on me). Why do I find her so annoying? Well, it's not just Jude Law jealousy. I have issues with people who are famous for no apparent reason, and she falls into that category. I have just discovered that she will play Edie Sedgwick in an upcoming biopic. Another reason to hate her. I dressed as Edie for Halloween one time in high school. I'm not convinced Sienna has what it takes to portray Warhol's tragic muse.

2. Kimora Lee Simmons. My intense dislike of her began a couple of years back, when Vogue did a piece about New Yorkers who made a difference post-9/11. Her husband Russell Simmons does a lot of serious charity work, but she spoils the effect by saying, “The most fashionable thing you can do is give back to the community. People need to realize that it’s fashionable to help others.” Yes, I’m sure all those people who gave so generously to 9/11 relief efforts would be delighted to know that Kimora approves of their fashionability. What a moron. This month’s VF (they have a lot to answer for) has a fawning profile of her. They talk about how she puts her two small children in all her Baby Phat ads as if that isn't at all exploitative. I stopped reading when she started talking about all the women who are after her shriveled creepy old man husband (who hooked up with her when she was a teenager and he was 20 years her senior). “I will beat a bitch’s ass,” she says. (Note to self, drop plan to convince Russell that I am the one for him. She is an amazon and could totally take me.) She also said she feels like Coretta Scott King, which is so beyond insulting, I can barely comment on it.

3. Renee Zellwegger. I don’t deny that she can act, but ugh, she is just so annoying, what with those teeny tiny little eyes and the way she always carries on about her “immigrant parents.” Her parents are from Norway and Switzlerland. I’m so sure Northern European Aryan type immigrants faced horrible discrimination in the post-War World II U.S. She also strikes me as someone desparate to please and be liked, and that is just so not movie star. Take a lesson from Angelina Jolie.

And just so you don’t think I only hate women:

4. Ben Affleck. I have always found him kind of annoying, but it reached a fever pitch during the publicity-fueled romance with J.Lo. I won’t go into great detail, but here are a few annoying things about Mr. Affleck: 1. J.Lo. I know it’s over, but still. 2. Gigli. The 20 people who saw it want their money back. 3. His professional poker career. 4. His dull, dull, dull on an off screen persona. He’s just so bland. I just don’t get the attraction. Everytime I see him with Jennifer Garner, I want to scream, “you dumped Michael Vartan for this?!”

That’s all the bile I have the stomach for today. Who are your least favorite celebs? Come on, don’t be shy.