Categorize This Post

To the world, I probably seem like a very disorganized person. But I actually have a mind like a steel trap. Sometimes, I picture the inside of my brain, and what I see are rows and rows of file cabinets, all containing pertinent facts, categorized and cross-referenced. I really like categorization. When I was nine, I created a library of all my books, sorted into categories and then alphabetized. I even created little check-out cards so anyone who borrowed them could fill the card out and I could keep track. It may not come as a surprise to learn that my first job ever (non-paying sadly) was at my local library. I was 11 and volunteered there during the summer. When I got to alphabetize the books and reshelve them, I was in heaven.

Sometimes when I have trouble sleeping (which is pretty much all the time), I make lists in my head to pass the time. For some reason, categorizing stuff calms me down. There’s this old Go-Gos song called “Girl of 100 Lists.”

Ghetto blasters, phony jewels
Cathedrals, castles, making up rules
Trashy novels and leather gloves
This is a list of the things I love

I am the girl of 100 lists
From what shall I wear
To who I have kissed
Check items off
Let nothing be missed
Say I to myself and my 100 lists

I am that girl.

As mentioned previously, I’m about to break down and get an Ipod. In anticipation of this blessed event, I set up Itunes on the fancy new computer and started uploading a bunch of CDs*. Itunes has brought out my inner librarian. I started making playlists. And I realized that I could use playlists to categorize my entire CD collection. I can do genres and subgenres. I can organize things chronologically. My physical CD collection is divided into three categories: classical/jazz (very small), soundtracks (including original Broadway cast recordings, oh yeah**), and everything else (90% of my CDs, but since they’re mostly rock and pop, I didn’t break things down further). Each of the three categories is alphabetized. I’ve always wanted to do further categorization, but I’ve never been able to because of the inability of a CD to be in more than one place at a time (except for magic CDs, but I only own a couple of them).

These are my playlist categories so far (not including my shorter playlists, e.g., stuff I work out to, my favorite songs from the old Fox and Hounds jukebox):

80s***
Punk
Post-punk
Hardcore
Indie
Emo
DC
Britpop
Disco
Showtunes
Soundtracks
Cheesy Pop
Classical
30s/40s/Big Band****

But I’m already running into problems. What do you do with bands that were big in the 80s, but still active today? I decided that Depeche Mode could stay in the 80s category, since I only have one recent CD and it only has one good song on it. And New Order is such a quintessentially 80s band, they’ll have to go in that category. But what about U2? After much discussion with Lord Kissington, I decided that if a band had their glory days in the 80s, then that’s where they’ll go. U2, welcome back to the 80s*****. Still, my 80s playlist isn’t just about chronology; it’s so much more than that.

Jesus and Mary Chain presented another conundrum. They started in the 80s, but their sound is really Britpop, so that’s where they’ll have to reside. Lord Kissington wanted to know what I was going to do with the Pixies. I decided on indie for them, even though they were on a major label and their first album came out in the 80s. Their sensibilities are more indie than anything else.

There’s obviously going to be some overlap within these categories. All my emo stuff is also indie, but much of my indie isn’t emo (that could totally be a question on the SATs). And the DC category will have a lot of overlap with the indie, emo, and hardcore categories. Some bands will end up all over the place. Blondie can go in 80s, punk, and disco. Rites of Spring can go in DC, indie, emo, and hardcore. Think of them as a manila file folder with four different colored tabs. Awesome.

Obviously, this system is pretty subjective. I have an 80s category, but none for the 70s or 90s. But there is a method to my madness here. Approximately 97% of my 70s stuff can be easily categorized into either the punk or disco categories. And my 90s stuff is all over the place and makes more sense going into categories like indie or emo.

I’m trying to figure out what other categories I need. Do I own enough trip hop to justify its own playlist? And what about all my math rock CDs? Maybe I need a “none of the above” category.

*And purchasing a bunch of embarrassing songs that I would never buy a whole CD of because the rest of it probably sucks and buying it would seriously damage my waning punk rock cred at the used CD store. I’m talking about you, Justin Timberlake.
**You haven’t lived until you’ve heard Robert Goulet (or Bob, as I like to call him) singing “If Ever I Would Leave You.”
***I thought about doing a sub-category of New Wave, but since at least 70% of my 80s stuff could be classified as New Wave, there doesn’t seem to be much point. I may do an 80s college rock category though, because really, Camper van Beethoven doesn’t have so much in common with Depeche Mode.
****These should really be their own categories, but since I don’t have much in any of them, I combined them.
*****This decision was aided by the fact that neither Lord Kissington nor I own a U2 record made after the 80s.