Fighting a Losing Battle

This weekend, I realized that I was completely overwhelmed by stuff. We have too much stuff and it’s overwhelming what would otherwise be a decently sized apartment. The situation is not helped by teeny tiny closets that were clearly designed for someone who doesn’t own more than five outfits. Everywhere I turn, there is a precariously balanced pile of some sort. Every time, I open a closet, stuff falls out. I recently ran out of hangers, so I bought a ton of them. I’ve now run out of space on the closet rod on which these hangers are placed. And this was after I got rid of three garbage bags full of clothes. Clearly, I have a problem here.

To combat this growing problem, I have begun a massive clean-out of the apartment. I fight against the stuff all the time, but it’s a losing battle. Yesterday, when I began my latest skirmish, I was determined to be as strong as possible and hold out against every last packrat tendency.

My first attack was on a cabinet in the dining room that serves mostly as a repository for crap that we don’t know what to do with. It was filled with all kinds of “treasures.” Among the items that have exited or will shortly exiting the Tiara/Kissington household are these gems:

1. A shot glass with the flag of Texas on it. Where the hell did that come from? It’s not as though I sit around the house doing shots. I prefer to drink straight from the bottle.
2. A small clock with a picture of a penguin on it (it’s not even a particularly cute penguin) and no numbers so it’s hard to tell the time.
3. The infamous Princess Diana commemorative plate. The story is a good enough conversation piece, so I don’t really need the physical evidence, which in addition to being butt ugly, is not “suitable for food service” and thus completely useless except on a creepy kitsch level.
4. A poster of Yoda. Please don’t even ask how that ended up in my apartment. Seriously, Yoda?
5. A “vinyl repair kit” for an unknown (and probably long gone) vinyl item.

I packed up two bags of books to bring over to my mother’s (she has easy access to a place where they can be donated). They were nothing exciting, mostly mass market paperbacks of the trashy mystery variety that I just wanted to be rid of. When she saw how many books there were, she was somewhat horrified that I was giving away “so many books.” I explained that it was maybe 40 crappy books, we have a couple thousand more at home, and this is just a drop in the bucket.

She then went through all the books, kept a pile for herself, and convinced me to keep two of them. I wonder where I get my packrat tendencies?

As part of my organizational efforts, I made a trip to the Container Store, whose motto should be “Overpriced boxes and storage solutions for people who have way too much stuff and obviously way too much money since they can afford the stuff AND the expensive boxes to put it in.” My gift wrap situation has been messy at best lately, so I purchased a gift wrap organizer that can hang on the inside of my coat closet door. They had a really fancy gift wrap organizer that turned into a platform for wrapping stuff on, but it was $100, and if you really need that, maybe you’re giving too many presents. (Or you’re Candy Spelling and you have a whole room that’s devoted to gift wrapping.) My gift wrap is now neatly organized, but the organizer did not provide enough space for my multitude of gift bags. Whatever am I to do?

I also purchased a hanging jewelry organizer. I actually think this item has the power to change my life. It has little clear pouches that you can place jewelry in, which keeps items from getting tangled (an issue with jewelry boxes) and you can see each item, which will help me to accessorize every morning and remember all the forgotten pieces I own. This is almost as good as the time that I harnessed the awesome power of the hook and got my purse collection under control.

The next step is organizing all my papers so I can do my taxes. That should send me totally over the edge. But they did have some super-cute expandable folders at the Container Store…