Thank You for the Lovely, Ummh, Thing

As any non-etiquettely-challenged bride will tell you, thank you notes are a big part of the wedding process. I am currently drowning in thank you notes. In the beginning, I was doing really well. Anyone who sent a gift before the wedding (unless it arrived the day before the wedding) received a thank you note sent out before the wedding*. Since the flow of gifts was steady, but not overwhelming, this went pretty well, and I was only writing a few a week, so I could still come up with clever comments for each.

But after the wedding came the deluge. I have about 50 notes to write at the moment. I’ve managed to do 10 in the last two days, but it’s getting harder and harder. How many different ways are there to say “thank you for the lovely gift. We’re so glad you could come to our wedding.” (I refuse to say “We’re so glad you could share our special day.” It’s just way too bridezilla.) So, basically, everyone is getting more or less the same note, with a few words changed. For everyone who sent an actual gift, it’s a little easier, because you can say something like “Thank you so much for the lovely wine glasses. Lord Kissington and I are sure to get a lot of use out of them because we both have drinking problems.” Or perhaps something slightly more appropriate like “Thank you so much for the lovely wine glasses. Lord Kissington and I are looking forward to using them at the next meeting of our wine tasting group.” For people who gave cash or checks, it’s a little harder, since you can’t really make a comment on money (“Thank you so much for your generous gift. Those 100 dollar bills were especially crisp and had that lovely new money smell.”), but I just try to convey my extreme gratitude to them for giving us money.

The biggest problem of all in the thank you note world is writing a note for gift when you have no idea what the gift is. We received a lovely antique something or other from friends of my father. It’s quite delightful, but I haven’t the faintest idea what it is. So, how do I write a polite note? Do I try to guess what it is? “Thank you for the delightful, ermm, Victorian tea canister?” (My mother’s guess) Or do I go with purposefully vague? “Thank you for the lovely gift. Lord Kissington and I are sure to get a lot of use out of it.” Or maybe I should post a picture and people can guess what it is? Oh, the dilemmas of thank you notes.

*I consulted several etiquette sources about whether it is permissible to send thank you notes before the wedding. None specified anything as to pre/post-wedding timing. Miss Manners had one question from someone who complained about getting a thank you note too early, and she basically told them to get over it, and that seeing as thank you notes are becoming a rarity, did the letter writer really want to complain about receiving a note in such a timely fashion? Snap. All sources said that thank you notes should be sent promptly, so that’s what I have tried to achieve.