Honeymooning by the Numbers

More details to come, but here's a little breakdown of the honeymoon.

Number of flights we took: 6
Hours spent on planes: 24
Number of flights almost missed through no fault of our own: 2
Number of times the plane appeared to be skidding off the runway during landing: 1 (but that was really more than enough)
Number of times I said to myself "You're already on the ground. Even if the plane crashes, there's a very good chance we'll survive": approximately 6
Hours spent on high-speed train: 2.5
Total hotels stayed in: 4
Total cities visited: 3
Number of hotels that had a bidet in the bathroom: 4
Minutes spent discussing the ever-fascinating bidets: 90
Glasses of wine consumed: approximately 72 (but I, err, may have lost count)
Number of times I felt drunk: 0
Pieces of Catalan tomato bread consumed: at least 25
Number of times we ate octopus: 3
Number of orange trees we saw in Seville: at least 500
Glasses of orange juice I drank while screwing my face up in distaste: 9 (I’m a slow learner)
Number of museums visited: 4
Number of Baroque paintings viewed: at least 400
Minutes spent swooning over Baroque paintings: I lost count
Number of times Lord Kissington asked if we were almost done yet while in a museum: 8
Number of outdoor cafes: approximately 10
Number of blissful nights of sleep I had while still jetlagged before my usual insomnia kicked in: 3
Number of cathedrals/churches visited: 4
Amount of clothes I brought but didn’t wear: 1/3
Hours I spent last night trying to convince my brain that just because my body thinks it’s six hours later, it is not time to get up yet: 1
Time at which I gave up and got out of bed: 6 a.m.