tiaras optional

"My only argument is with those who do not view the world as cynically as I do." Michael Korda

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Why Oh Why Must You Start Hammering So Early on My Birthday?

I didn’t have much planned for my birthday off from work day, but I had really hoped to sleep until maybe 7 a.m. Sadly, I was awoken around 6:15 by loud construction right outside the window. Then I realized that I still had the migraine that had been making my life miserable the day before. Happy freakin’ birthday.

It really wasn’t such a bad day though. The weather was lovely, and I didn’t have to do anything. My new in-laws sent me a book called The Shadow of the Wind, which is really great so far. I went out and ran some errands. When I was at Borders, I donated a book to the Boys and Girls Club Book Drive. Then I was walking down the street and an eager looking college age kid asked if I wanted to help the Democratic party and I said, “No thanks” and kept walking because it’s my birthday and I didn’t feel like stopping. But then I got paranoid and wanted to run back and assure him that I wasn’t a Republican.

I got Chipotle for lunch and went home and watched way too many hours of soap operas, which made me glad for the following things:

That I am not married to a pill-popping loser who’s sleeping with the town skank.
That I am not a fetus aborted in the 70s who somehow became a real boy and is pissed at hell at his parents.
That I remember to shut my apartment door during sex.
That I was never recruited by a secret government agency who gave me plastic surgery to look like a prominent head of state of a made up small Caribbean nation.
That I do not have two, equally annoying personalities.

When Lord Kissington arrived home from work, he found me “resting my eyes” in the bedroom. He quickly realized that I was completely out of touch with what was going on in the world (sometimes it’s either the news or the soaps, and I think we all know which one I’ll choose), so he told me that Lieberman had lost the primary. By pure chance, I actually knew this (I happened to glance at the cover of the Post in the newspaper machine while I was waiting for the light to change). I did miss the news about the big airline terror plot being foiled in the UK. With the new security restrictions, U.S. passengers can’t bring any liquid items on board, and the UK wasn’t letting anyone bring on carry-on items other than their passports and cash. This would be a serious issue for me, given what I like to bring in my carry-on: at least three books, two magazines, a huge bottle of water, all of my toiletries (I’ve had luggage get lost before and this is the bare minimum of what I need), including lots of liquidy items, like sunscreen and three moisturizers, lots of music, my phone, a change of underpants, and a notebook in case I get any great ideas. I realize that these restrictions are important safety measures, but if I don’t have lots of stuff to distract me, I would spend the entire flight worrying about the plane crashing.

3 Comments:

  • At 8/11/06, 2:01 PM, Blogger JordanBaker said…

    I had to go cold turkey on soaps this week--they were stressing me out too much for many of the reasons you mentioned.

     
  • At 8/15/06, 4:39 PM, Blogger bryc3 said…

    you are not completely out of touch, trust me.

    friday morning baby rode the metro with me, because she was on her way to the airport to fly back to chicago and my stop is along the way. three women got on at the gallery place stop with enormous suitcases and gigantic carry on bags. baby gave them the withering 'you fucking idiots' look she's famous for.

    baby and the three dumbdumbs arrived at the airport around 9:30am, and these women were trying to make a 10am flight. nevermind that every media outlet, including espn and telemundo, was advising passengers to get to the airport early.

    i'm not saying the terrorists are right or anything, but don't you sometimes wish you could influence exactly who they are trying to kill?

     
  • At 8/16/06, 9:44 PM, Blogger Lady Tiara said…

    jb: i wish i had the willpower to do that. i really do.

    bryc3: those people are morons. even without the extra security precautions, you need to get to the airport way ahead of time because there are always lines. and even with not reading the newspaper or watching tv news, i still knew all about the security stuff, so there is just no excuse.

     

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