Home Sick

Yesterday, I felt like crap, so I went home early. While riding the bus home (bus in middle of day = totes depressing, but perhaps that’s because I only ride the bus in the middle of the day when I’m sick, so I’m not at my best), I glanced at a discarded newspaper. Apparently, there’s some kind of war thing going on in the Middle East. I don’t know much about it, which is what happens when you get all your news from the Express, which devotes one small paragraph to the current crisis and features really important articles like “Sudoku: Passing Fad or Not?”

Since I was home sick, I watched lots of brain-rotting TV (Elizabeth, dump that pill-popping loser’s ass and get back with Jason, please). I got sucked into an episode of Oprah, which was all about the evils of crystal meth. The take-home message of the show was “crystal meth is totally bad bad bad and it turns even soccer moms into depraved losers,” but the message I really got was that it makes you lose weight. Of course, you’ll probably lose your teeth and any claim you ever had to beauty, so it’s probably not worth it. The best part was when a former meth addict was discussing the dangers of indiscriminate meth-induced sex in the gay community (although I would hazard a guess that indiscriminate sex is just as prevalent among straight meth users. Just sayin’.) and he used the term “barebacking,” to which Oprah feigned ignorance and said “barebacking? What’s that?” HI-larious.

This morning, while walking to work, I fell to my knees. No, it wasn’t the rapture. I’m still not sure what happened. My show did something funny, I lost my footing, and next thing you know, I’m on my knees. No damage done, but still not the best way to start the day.