Can’t a Girl Buy Some Cheap Clothes Without Having Her Eardrums Assaulted?

I really haven’t had much to write about recently, and this weekend didn’t help that at all, since I was sick for most of it. I had a migraine that lasted 24 hours, a stomach bug, and a weird backache that made me miserable for two days and then abruptly disappeared. By Monday, I felt that I had to drag myself out of bed and do something. Lord Kissington wanted to see The Departed. I just couldn’t do it, since I have this thing about Hollywood remakes of foreign films, the thing being that I can’t stand them. The Departed is a remake of Infernal Affairs, which I love. And I know it’s Scorsese, and I’ve heard it’s great, but I just wasn’t feeling it. So, we went to the Chinatown theater, and while he was seeing his remake, I watched The Last Kiss, chosen mainly because I had very low expectations for it and it wouldn’t require much thinking on my part. Sadly, the joke was on me. As the opening credits rolled, I learned The Last Kiss is a remake of an Italian film. D’oh.

My film was shorter than LK’s, so I killed some time at H&M while I was waiting for him. As I was standing in line, someone further back in line started cursing up a rather nonsensical blue streak. He seemed to be screaming something about not being made of fucking money and he wasn’t going to be buying his lady friend any fucking pants and what was her fucking problem and what the fuck was she talking about. I didn’t want to make eye contact, but I took a surreptitious glance at the couple. They were probably at least in their 50s, way outside the traditional H&M demographic (I should know, I’m probably a few years past their target customer). The woman was completely ignoring him, which gave me the feeling that she’d heard it all many times before. In fact, all the customers and employees were attempting to ignore him, although really, he was so loud and so obnoxious that people three blocks away could have heard him. I got up to the counter and was paying for my items, and he and his companion moved up to the next register.

Then things got even more interesting. It seems the man wanted to pay for a pair of jeans that he had already changed into. The woman behind the counter was trying to explain why he couldn’t do this, since she needed to remove the security tag and she couldn’t do that with him in the jeans. She asked him to change back into his original pants, but his companion said, “Oh, he already got rid of those.” The woman behind the counter was incredulous and I had to agree with her. Where did he dispose of his pants? It’s not as if H&M has super helpful dressing room attendants who are just waiting to take away your unwanted items. The man kept insisting that there was no problem and he hoisted his leg up on the counter and told the woman to just remove the tag that way. She kept trying to explain to him why this wouldn’t work (I really don’t think it would. The security device removal thing is in the counter and you have to press the tag down pretty hard to get it to come off. I’m not sure this guy’s leg would have stretched far enough.) I left while this was still going on, but I felt really bad for the cashier. Shopping at H&M is unpleasant enough, I can only imagine how much fun it is to work there.