Conceding That He's an Idiot

Normally, I avoid watching concession speeches. They’re just so sad, and I usually end up feeling bad for the loser, even if it’s someone I wanted to see defeated. But yesterday, I decided to make an exception and watch Senator Macaca McFootball concede, because I really really can’t stand him. He represents everything that I think is wrong with Virginia*. And he’s just really annoying.

So, I tuned into the internets to watch the speech. Nothing happened for a while, but as I looked at the place where he was going to speak, it seemed really familiar.

I called Lord Kissington and got him to turn on the speech. “Isn’t that where the Professor and Mary Ann got married?”

Lord Kissington: “Yeah, I think so.”

Me: “I went on a field trip there in 1^st grade. Now it’s totally tainted. But I can see why he chose it. It’s a colonial house. It represents the Virginia George wishes he lived in.”

LK: “Five bucks says he brings football into the speech.”

Me: “That bet’s not even worth taking, because you know there’s no way that Macaca McFootball won’t bring football into this somehow. This is a guy who campaigned at the Skins game in Maryland two days before the election.”

Eventually, John Warner came out and blathered on for what seemed like forever about how great McFootball is. I couldn’t take it and I stopped watching. But I caught a clip later on the news, and he indeed brought football into the speech, throwing his precious football into the crowd. Which is pretty funny, since I actually thought the thing was surgically attached to his hand.

*The state in which I grew up. I’ve spent more years there than anywhere else (approximately 20). There are plenty of good things about Virginia, but George Allen isn’t one of them.