Craptastic Numbered Post 82

1. Lord Kissington is recovering from a nasty stomach bug. He lost 5 pounds. Is it wrong that I am totally jealous?

2. Kim Jung Il’s little uniform jacket would be so much kickier if it didn’t have those elastic patches on each side of the waist. If I had the chance to talk to Kim Jung Il, I would say:

“Kim, you don’t mind if I call you Kim, right? Kim, you’ve got a very unique look. You’re rocking the poufy hair and the teensy high heels. It works for you. But the elastic tabs have got to go. It’s the Korean dictator jacket equivalent of mom jeans. Oh, and lay off those nuclear tests already.”

3. Does anyone else think the Others on Lost are living in some sort of Utopian free love experiment gone bad? It seems like Ben/Henry Gale and Juliet (already can’t stand her) used to have something going on. And that chick who came down into the hatch was all like, “What’s going on here?” in a jealous fashion. That same chick later kissed that chucky dude who was bossing around Sawyer (and you just know Sawyer is not going to forget that). Just a thought?

4. Martin O’Malley is kind of handsome, in a clean-cut politician sort of way. He’s probably a douchebag though, since that seems to be the way of politicians. But he’s just handsome enough to make me wish he’s not a douchebag. Every time I see his commercials, I say “That is a handsome politician,” and Lord Kissington looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind.

5. Spellcheck will try to tell you that douchebag should be two words, but I really think that’s just wrong. (Spellcheck will also try to tell you that you are spelling Spellcheck wrong, but they can just suck it.)

6. This year for Halloween, I am looking for people to help me make one of my long-time dreams come true. I want to get a group of seven people together and go as the cast of Gilligan’s Island. My wardrobe is ideally suited to play Ginger (and my competition moved to another country). Sadly, the best choice for Gilligan also moved to another country. Any help would be appreciated.