Notes on an Election, Part the Second

1. So, I was over a my father’s house the other day and I saw something that surprised me: a large election poster that said “Vote for [Dad’s name] Tiara!”

“Dad, is there something you want to tell me?”

He insisted that he wasn’t really running for office, but that someone with the exact same name spelled the same way (our family name is slightly unusual and the least common spelling) was running for a local office in the city in which we were both born. Who would have thought there was another Lord Thistlewaite St. John Tiara out there?

I’m happy to say that Thistlewaite won his election with a whopping 74.5% of the vote. Way to go, Dad!

2. [Not election-related but still worthy of comment] I offer a hearty congratulations to Britney Spears, who has finally dumped her loser sperm-donor husband. She probably should have kicked him to the curb after the first kid, as I’m sure she’ll have to pay him more now. Of course, she really should never have married him, so what’s another year and another kid? Hope that prenup stands up in court.

3. Congratulations also go to handsome politician Martin O’Malley for his win in the Maryland governor’s race. I don’t know if the race came down to looks alone, but O’Malley sure beats Ehrlich in that category.

4. There were approximately three other people voting when Lord Kissington and I arrived at our local polling station last night. I’m guessing turnout wasn’t huge earlier in the day either, given that when I signed my name, most of the other lines on the page were blank. I told myself that it was important to vote because if nothing else, I am influencing politics on the most local level, when I vote for the ANC candidate. Of course, our candidate was running unopposed. Sigh.

5. I was asked if I wanted paper or electronic voting, and I said paper, because I’m not using one of those dang, fancy, newfangled machines. Filling out the paper voting forms is a bit like taking a standardized test. You have to use number 2 pencils, and you have to fill in the arrows ,being careful not to go outside the line. Since I vote in a school, the whole process really takes me back.

6. My mother called last night to ask if I had voted. I told her that we went after work and it wasn’t too crowded.

“Oh, the election. No, I was wondering if you had voted for anyone on Dancing with the Stars?”

"Gee, Mom, I was a little more concerned about the actual election."

I told her that I couldn’t vote for Mario Lopez, because even though I think he’s probably the best dancer, there’s just something I don’t like about him. Maybe it’s that his main claim to fame is Saved by the Bell? Maybe it’s his annoying little whispery voice? Or maybe it’s that he seems so intense when he’s dancing, like he’s desperate to win this because he knows it’s his last chance to rise above the D list? I can’t help but prefer Emmitt Smith who’s always smiling and actually looks like he’s enjoying dancing. But hey, that’s just me.