I’ll Take a Boob Job, a Tummy Tick, and a Hoo-Ha Lift
I can see how women with sexual dysfunction are driven to laser procedures in an effort to solve a major problem. But there doesn’t seem to be any actual evidence that these procedures work. And do you really want a laser anywhere near your va-jay-jay? I sure as hell don’t.
Far more disturbing are the truly cosmetic procedures. Some women are having surgery to make their ladyparts look younger. Woman are apparently wanting for a “nice sleek look,” and according to the doctor who invented and popularized these procedures, “Women tell me they want to look like they’re 18 again.” You know, when I was 18, I didn’t spend a whole lot of time looking at my cooter with a magnifying mirror, so I don’t really have a basis for comparison. But I can’t say I spend a lot of time worrying about it looking old. Silly me. I’ve spent all this time worrying about wrinkles and gray hairs, when I should have been doing something about my aging box. This is just stupid. (Besides, if a man is spending too much time looking at it, he’s not doing things right.)
There’s also a procedure called a hymenoplasty that can revirginize you. It’s apparently increasingly popular in cultures in which virginity is prized. The article mentioned a woman who was having the surgery before returning home to
In a situation like this, where there’s all kinds of potential for family shame and dishonor, the need for the surgery is understandable. But there are also people who are getting this done as a little something special for the men in their lives: “Some of his patients… are celebrating a new relationship or a second honeymoon.” This is just so fucked up I don’t even know where to begin. Why would you want to relive losing your virginity? Was your first time really so amazing? Were there candles and romantic music and you felt the earth move? Or was it so awful that you want a second chance? All I can say is, been there, done that. My hymen can stay broken, thank you very much.
Labels: va-jay-jays
4 Comments:
At 3/7/07, 2:12 PM, JordanBaker said…
And even if you did want to relive your first time, do you really need surgery? Couldn't you just. . .I don't know, find a twin bed somewhere, light some patchouli scented incense, and play a Dave Matthews CD? It's less invasive and less expensive.
At 3/7/07, 3:21 PM, Kathryn Is So Over said…
They sometimes have a couple of guys doing these procedures on Dr. 90210. It creeps me out every time, especially when they show these guys at home alone in their giant houses, 45+yo bachelors... something doesn't add up.
At 3/7/07, 11:39 PM, thethinker said…
To make it look YOUNGER? This has got to be the most ridiculous thing I've heard.
At 3/8/07, 1:25 AM, Lady Tiara said…
jb: yeah, just get really drunk and say "ouch" a few times.
kathryn: that's so creepy. it's kind of freaky that all the doctors doing these procedures are men.
thethinker: yeah, i've never really worried about looking old down there.
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