At Least I'm Not Bathing in the Blood of Virgins

For years, I’ve been kidding myself that I’m somehow really low maintenance. Sure, I never leave the house without makeup, but it’s a very simple makeup routine, and I can do it in five minutes if pressed. But making this list exposed my habits to the harsh light of day. And here’s a scary realization: I use seven different kinds of moisturizers.

1. 45 SPF facial moisturizer for day
2 and 3. Two different nighttime moisturizers for alternate nights (one with hyaluronic acid and one extra creamy moisturizing one)
4. Eye cream (for night use)
5. Another daytime moisturizer for my eyes only (I can’t use the sunscreen one too close to my eyes since it makes them burn, so I use this one instead and always wear sunglasses)
6. Basic body moisturizer
7. Hand and nail-specific moisturizer (the body moisturizer isn’t quite strong enough for my hands, and since I started using this stuff, I haven’t broken a nail)

And even though it seems like overkill when I write it all down, I really can’t live without any of them. My skin has been pretty good since I began this regime and it seems to be staving off the wrinkles (vampire-like avoidance of sunlight helps too). And this is just the skin care stuff. I haven’t even gotten to the hair products. No wonder my suitcases are always so heavy.