In the “Be Careful What You Wish for” Category

The other day, a friend and I were discussing various stomach ailments one could get while traveling abroad and the resultant weight loss, and I expressed regret that I never seem to get stomach viruses anymore, and how it would be an easy way to drop a few pounds.

I lived to regret those words not long afterward, when I threw up for 7 hours straight. Apparently, the universe heard me and decided to laugh in my face. I haven’t been that sick since I was a kid. It was so bad that I had to keep a bucket next to the bed since I was too weak to make it to the bathroom half of the time.

The last few days have not been the most fun ever. Here are some things I am totes sick of: flat coke, saltines, and dry toast. I’m trying to get back to regular, non-bland, non-carb food now. I am craving protein or anything with taste really.

And the kicker: I don’t think I’ve lost any weight. Thanks for nothing, universe. Why do you hate me?