Shower Gifts

Yesterday, I took the day off from work. I have a lot of vacation time that I need to use or lose before the end of the year. I had big plans for running errands, cleaning the apartment, and lots of other things yesterday, but most of them didn’t happen. This Saturday, I will be attending a baby shower and then a wedding shower (not for the same person. Not that I would judge or anything, but just because you’re knocked up at your wedding, I have to get you two gifts?). So my main objective was to buy presents for these showers. (Next objective will be surviving two back-to-back showers.) The baby gift was no problem, but the wedding one was much more of a pain. I spent nearly an hour at Neiman Marcus trying to buy something off the damn registry list. I was the only customer in the bridal section, and they have about five employees working, and it still took forever. At least they did a lovely wrapping job. That was so frustrating that I came home and sat on the couch for hours. I did manage to watch Never Been Kissed. Why didn’t I have any teachers who looked like Michael Vartan in high school? Oh yeah, I went to private school, and the teachers were overwhelmingly female and not hot.

A friend sent me some interesting links from the Lillian Vernon catalog, and I found a few really necessary items:

1. The trompe l’oeil dog’s dining table. What every discerning dog needs.

2. The silver-plated tabletop toothpick holder (it’s monogrammable!). Because I really want to encourage my dinner guests to pick their teeth at the table.

3. The walnut golf ball cabinet. I had no idea that people collected golf balls, but if they do, this is clearly the place to put them

The ladies whose showers I am attending this weekend are just lucky that I didn’t know about these items yesterday.