tiaras optional

"My only argument is with those who do not view the world as cynically as I do." Michael Korda

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Shower Gifts

Yesterday, I took the day off from work. I have a lot of vacation time that I need to use or lose before the end of the year. I had big plans for running errands, cleaning the apartment, and lots of other things yesterday, but most of them didn’t happen. This Saturday, I will be attending a baby shower and then a wedding shower (not for the same person. Not that I would judge or anything, but just because you’re knocked up at your wedding, I have to get you two gifts?). So my main objective was to buy presents for these showers. (Next objective will be surviving two back-to-back showers.) The baby gift was no problem, but the wedding one was much more of a pain. I spent nearly an hour at Neiman Marcus trying to buy something off the damn registry list. I was the only customer in the bridal section, and they have about five employees working, and it still took forever. At least they did a lovely wrapping job. That was so frustrating that I came home and sat on the couch for hours. I did manage to watch Never Been Kissed. Why didn’t I have any teachers who looked like Michael Vartan in high school? Oh yeah, I went to private school, and the teachers were overwhelmingly female and not hot.

A friend sent me some interesting links from the Lillian Vernon catalog, and I found a few really necessary items:

1. The trompe l’oeil dog’s dining table. What every discerning dog needs.

2. The silver-plated tabletop toothpick holder (it’s monogrammable!). Because I really want to encourage my dinner guests to pick their teeth at the table.

3. The walnut golf ball cabinet. I had no idea that people collected golf balls, but if they do, this is clearly the place to put them

The ladies whose showers I am attending this weekend are just lucky that I didn’t know about these items yesterday.

5 Comments:

  • At 11/11/05, 3:15 PM, Blogger Lucy said…

    I LOVE looking at Lillian Vernon catalogues; they never fail to supply a hearty laugh.

     
  • At 11/11/05, 5:22 PM, Blogger Kathryn Is So Over said…

    Yeah, so, my dad collects golfballs and has a couple of walnut cases. But they're cooler than that.

    And don't forget, when you're buying the silver-plated tabletop toothpick holder, to also pick up the pocket-sized travel version.

     
  • At 11/11/05, 6:30 PM, Blogger Lady Tiara said…

    rcg: disturbing fact #82 about me: i was totally obsessed with the lillian vernon catalogue when i was a child. i was always begging my mother to oder me useless monogrammed crap, and she always refused.

    kathryn, i have just been informed by lord kissington that his father also collects golf balls. i honestly had no idea. i am clearly way behind this trend. my father collects statues of dante and ephemera relating to the french revolution, so i can't really relate. my dad is weird.

     
  • At 11/13/05, 6:35 PM, Blogger Big Sky Girl said…

    the gifts are a little odd, but the doggie table is designed to prevent the spinal strain the occurs when dogs bend down to feed.

    Though I seriously question the need for a table cloth and turned table legs.

     
  • At 11/14/05, 3:12 PM, Blogger Lady Tiara said…

    it wasn't the table that bothered me so much as the trompe l'oeil fork and knife and the table cloth. like the dog cares?

     

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