Life on Another Continent

Earlier this year, my dear friend the Redhead moved to another country, far far away. She has been an amazing friend for the past five years. Among the quirks we share is an obsession with the Tudor dynasty. In her new home, the Redhead visited a past life regressionist psychic who looked at a picture of the two of us and told her we were ladies in waiting to Queen Anne Boleyn. That would explain a lot of things.

Because of the time difference, we don’t get to talk much, but we chatted for a while on IM yesterday. Our conversation made me realize how much I miss her. She is having a great time in her new adventure, but she is a great sounding-board, and I could really use her right now as I go through all this wedding crap. Among the highlights of our conversation:

1. Underwear is a serious issue these days. Her new home is not meeting her underwear needs.

the Redhead says: i am so psyched to shop in american stores for a decent pair of underwear i could die.
Lady Tiara says: bad underwear in asia?
The Redhead says: the worst. it’s so cheap and tacky. even the expensive stuff.
The Redhead says: either granny or shit with sequins. that’s it.
Lady Tiara says: ugh
The Redhead says: yeah. there are no clean-scrubbed wasps here, so no cute-but-sensible underwear.
The Redhead says: just bimbo gear or stuff for aunties

2. McDonalds. Apparently, the local McDonalds will deliver 24 hours a day. However, they have discontinued the ¼ pounder. This just doesn’t make any sense.

3. Jude Law and Sienna Miller

Lady Tiara says: jude law is so over
The Redhead says: jude law IS so over
The Redhead says: the nanny thing killed him
The Redhead says: only after you've been on top for a long time can you pull that stuff
Lady Tiara says: i mean, I’d probably still do him, because I’m not really looking for a meaningful relationship with him, but my ardor has cooled somewhat
Lady Tiara says: i actually dislike him more for dating sienna miller, who i totally despise
Lady Tiara says: “fashion icon” my ass
The Redhead says: sienna sucks

4. Dolphins. We got onto the topic of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, which we both loved, and she typed the words to the Dolphin song, which was then stuck in my head for the rest of the day. That’s ok. I like the song. “So long and thanks for all the fish.”

5. Baby terror.

Lady Tiara says: [Babies] cost a ton of money
The Redhead says: oh yes. so much money
Lady Tiara says: mama needs some new manolos, but baby is cramping her style
The Redhead says: hahhahahahah. love it!
Lady Tiara says: besides, i am terrified of children
Lady Tiara says: they look at me strangely
The Redhead says: children are nasty and sticky and mean
Lady Tiara says: i don’t relate to them at all
The Redhead says: me neither. even when i was one
The Redhead says: i wanted to be an adult
The Redhead says: adults had all the fun
The Redhead says: they could wear heels and go to parties

I think you can see why I miss her so much.