Aggressive Walking

I walk to work everyday, and life as a pedestrian in this fair city can be fraught with peril, what with all the drivers who don’t feel it necessary to stop for red lights and stop signs. I handle these near-death experiences with the same serene grace I apply to all other areas of my life (who am I kidding, I’m filled with pedestrian rage). On my commute, I cross one street that has a crosswalk and a very large (approximately 3.5 or 4 feet wide) sign indicating that cars must YIELD to pedestrians in the crosswalk. Apparently, the majority of the drivers that pass through this crosswalk are illiterate or blind as only 1.2% of them ever stop for pedestrians. Given this situation, I generally don’t push my luck with the cars even though I have the right of way because, well, they’re bigger than I am. But this morning, there were no cars coming, so I and a couple of other pedestrians stepped out into the crosswalk. A bicyclist came out of nowhere and yelled at us for being in the crosswalk as he came within inches of running into us. Now, I have a fair amount of sympathy for bike commuters. I mean, they’re helping the environment, and I’m sure riding in the city is just as much of a pain as walking in the city. But I still think they need to follow the rules. So, when this guy broke the rules and had the nerve to yell at us pedestrians, I just lost it. I yelled back “You’re supposed to yield to pedestrian in the crosswalk, you asshole” really loudly. The cyclist yelled something back, but I couldn’t hear him as he was already halfway down the street by then. I reached the curb, my rage completely dissipated by my outburst. I then had to walk through a crowd of approximately 26 people waiting for the bus, quite a few of whom looked askance at me. I suppose I don’t look like someone who would be screaming on the street. And I’m not usually that person. But I do find the occasional use of loud profanity is entirely called for in certain circumstances, this being one of them. As I walked through the crowd, I resisted the urge to say “What are you looking at, fuckers? Why don’t you get off your asses and try walking to work?”, because one loud profanity-laced outburst had already filled my quota for the day.