Potterrific?

I got into Harry Potter way back when. I think it 2001, and I know it was summer because I had started the first book and was reading it so fast that I stopped on my way to meet Uncle Dad at the big gay pool to buy the second book because I was almost done with the first one and I knew that I would just have to keep reading because I totally get addicted that way and I wouldn’t be able to enjoy a day at the pool if I didn’t have the book. Although I was way behind your average 8-year-old, I was way ahead of pretty much everyone I knew. I read books 1 through 3 in a very short span, and then was left hanging, what with the long wait for book 4.

I sparked an interest in several people, including Lord Kissington, bryc3, and my mother. By the time they all became completely obsessed, I was kind of over it, because it was taking forever for the books to come out, and I have the attention span of a 5-year-old. A 5-year-old with ADHD. I continued to see the movies, and I eventually got around to reading books 4 through 6, although none of them in a very timely fashion (something that drove LK and my friend Mary Ann crazy as it meant they couldn’t discuss them while I was around). And it will be a while before I get to the last book (preordered months ago by LK) since I will have to pry it out of his cold, dead hands.

LK, Maryann, and I saw the fifth movie last weekend. It was pretty good, although the viewing experience left somethnig to be desired. Uptown, get your AC working full blast. Parents, consider maybe not letting your kids get all hopped up on sugar right before a 2.5-hour movie. Teenager two seats down from me, when you have to pee during the climatic battle, just learn to hold it in.

I figured it was safe to go see the movie without my mother. She pretty much refuses to leave my Alzheimer’s-stricken grandmother alone, so it’s not like she goes to movies much. Apparently, I was wrong. She laid a major guilt trip on me yesterday, in which she said about 14 times, “I can’t believe you saw it on the first weekend” (meaning “I can’t believe you saw it without me”) and “I guess I’ll just have to wait for the DVD” (said with a plaintive sigh). I like to think of myself as a strong person, but I am no match for such an expert at passive aggression. The upshot: I will be spending an evening with my grandmother (something I certainly don't mind doing), while my husband takes my mother to the movie.

I informed LK about this last night: “Dude, enjoy your date with my mother.” Then I cackled like a hyena.

Beyond the guilt trip laying, my mother has another issue with the whole HP oeuvre: She refuses to accept the Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione romances. (I called Harry and Ginny way back in the second book, and I’ve been trying to tell her she’s on crack for years.) She told me that she heard that two characters die in the seventh book, and she’s hoping that it’s Ron and Ginny, so Harry and Hermione can end up together. I told her that was horrible (seeing as there’s a long list of nasty people one would rather see die a horrible death than the likable Weasley sibs, no?), and that she should probably join a message board, as she will probably find many likeminded 11-year-old girls with whom she can share her thoughts.