The Detritus of My Life

I’ll be starting a new job in a couple of weeks. I’ve begun the to process of cleaning out my office. It’s going to be quite a project since I haven’t exactly kept the place in order, and I’ve been in it for a long time.

Here are some things I’ve thrown out so far:

• A list of doctors on our insurance plan that was many years out of date

• Files from my predecessor that I don’t think I’ve ever looked at

• Wall calendars from 2004 and 2005. One had scary pictures of antique dolls and the other pictures of demented looking fairies (they were gifts). I’ve saved the 2003 and 2006 calendars because I like the pictures. Did I mention that my home is chaos too?

• A flower pot that’s been empty for 3 years, ever since someone took pity on the dead plant in my office and disposed of it (although if you would think they might have disposed of the pot as well. Perhaps they left it behind to remind me of the plant I killed. It didn’t work since I only just realized it’s still here).

• A poster of the 1999-2000 Caps lineup. Adam Oates is like retired now, right?

• A hotel bill and other receipts from a conference I attended. In 1999.

• A 2002 day planner. Flipping through this item revealed that my life used to be a lot more exciting.

• A bottle of conditioner (in case I ever felt the need for some deep conditioning while at work?).

• A list of songs that I was apparently making for a mixed CD. Although the list is so old that it might have been a mixed tape.

I found a shopping bag that I apparently carted down from my previous office when I moved into this one 5 years ago and never looked in. I'm really organized.

Here are some of the other gems that have turned up in my clean-up:

• A Caps water bottle (never used, I think)

• What appears to be a Lego action figure with a sword in one hand and a gun in the other. Totally ready for action

• A knife

• A gift bag with a pink poodle on it.

• An ancient mail scale

• The Sound of Music on VHS

• A slinkee

• A photo album that I think I bought as a gift but never got around to giving

Did I mention that I’m a packrat? I can't wait to start over again in a new office with no crap.