Conversations with My Mother

Whenever my mother is flying anywhere, she likes to call me right before the plane takes off. Sometimes she wants to tell me where all of her important financial papers are (in a Talbot’s shopping bag apparently) just in case “the plane crashes” and “I die.” She has an obsession with death (although I notice that she quickly changes the subject whenever I ask her to tell me exactly how much money I can expect to inherit at her imminent demise).

Today, she called me at 1:30 to tell me that she was on the plane. And that Katie Couric was sitting across from her.

My phone rang again at 4:20. I saw her number on the caller ID, but when I picked up the phone, she didn’t say anything. My mother has had a cell phone since 1996 but still hasn’t exactly mastered the use of them.

At 4:30, the phone rings again. The plane never took off. She’s still at National and is now on a second plane. Katie Couric is still there. Apparently, she’s going to miss her broadcast tonight. And she’s helping the flight attendants hand out water (“showoff,” I said). And she has really great legs. All very valuable information.