Dreaming My Dreams of…

I’m starting a new job soon, and I’ve been so busy finishing up at my current job that I haven’t had much time to think (or worry) about the new job. My subconscious, however, seems to be working overtime. The other night I dreamed that I went to my first day at the new job. They didn’t have an office or even a desk for me. It looked totally different from the office where I had interviewed. A bunch of people sat me down on a couch in the lobby and threw a pile of papers at me, telling me this was my first project. Then everyone disappeared.

I started going through the papers and realized: 1) I was working for a Republican member of Congress, 2) said member had just been arrested for soliciting sex in a public bathroom, and 3) my job was to do damage control. I woke up with my heart thumping in my chest. I guess the good news is that my new job can’t possibly be that bad.

Last night I dreamed about characters on a TV show I’ve never watched. The Hills is on cable, so I’ve never seen it. I’m aware of it because it’s covered in exhaustive detail on every gossip web site I visit. And US Weekly has a story on these people every week. Although I don’t read the articles, I’ve absorbed some details by osmosis. The show seems to be centered around a bland young woman with very cute clothes. I was vaguely aware of her from having watched a few episodes of Laguna Beach at the gym. Apparently, she’s the one who was always fighting with the bitchy blonde over some guy, who I think (I’m too lazy and of the not caring to actually look this up) is the guy who played the skateboarding virgin on One Tree Hill*. My cursory glances at the US Weekly articles suggest that the main conflict of the show is between the bland one and her equally bland ex-BFF and the ex-BFF’s douchebag boyfriend. Feel free to correct me if I’ve got anything wrong here.

In any case, in my dream, I was at a country club, and I was walking to the parking lot when suddenly there was some big commotion, and it turned out that the bland one had gotten into some kind of fender-bender with the ex-BFF and the douchebag, and everyone was screaming and the paparazzi were busy circling. Then I woke up and felt totally disgusted with myself. I really need to have a talk with my subconscious.

*I really love that the teen abstinence storyline on One Tree Hill was so un-family values and made the virgins look like colossal idiots. They all wore t-shirts that said “Virgins for Life,” which makes no sense because I thought the whole point of teen abstinence movements was to encourage not having sex until marriage and not not having sex, ummh, ever. Also, the founder of the club turned out to be an emotionally unstable non-virgin who broke poor Mouth’s heart. With all illusions shattered, the sweet skateboarding virgin was soon losing it to slutty Brooke in the back seat of a car at a party. Not that I watch One Tree Hill or anything. I just picked all this up from flipping through the channels one night. I swear.