tiaras optional

"My only argument is with those who do not view the world as cynically as I do." Michael Korda

Monday, January 30, 2006

Who Am I Kidding?

I don’t have cable. I haven’t had it since I lived at home many many years ago. I’ve gotten by pretty well without it for all these years (reading US Weekly regularly helps me to at least know the names and major players of the bigger cable shows, so I’m not totally out of the loop). I have always said that I don’t want to get cable because it would be a waste of money because “I don’t really watch TV.” I like to think of myself as this well-read intellectual type who doesn’t need TV in her life. I’m not like everyone else in America. I’m not a slave to my TV. I’ve got a DVD player and Netflix, and I can watch all the indie and foreign films I want. But recently the list of shows that I watch has gotten longer. It used to be just reruns of the Simpsons. They are still on the list, but they’ve been joined by Lost (although after last week’s suckfest, I’m kind of over it), Alias (not for much longer), House, and Bones (but they moved it to opposite Lost. I hate it when networks do that). Oh, and Guiding Light. Every day. And other soaps if I’m at home.

But now I have realized that I am just kidding myself. My reasons for not having cable are not that I would never use it. No, now I’m afraid that if I get cable, I will never leave the house again. There’s just so much to watch. I spend a lot of time at the gym, where they have cable. I watch a lot of TV at the gym. I’ve been telling myself that I am just watching because I need a distraction while I’m working out. But I know this isn’t true. I would watch these shows at home if I had cable. Here’s a sample of what I’ve been catching lately:

A Laguna Beach marathon on Christmas Eve (I worked out twice as long as I planned to, because I couldn’t tear myself away).
An episode of Little House on the Prairie (again I couldn’t tear myself away, because I really wanted to know if Laura would forgive Almanzo for talking to that saloon girl, who I’m pretty sure was Alexis from General Hospital. Also, my friend B went on a date with the guy who played the adopted son, so I was sort of curious to see him. Excuses, excuses.).
The Gastineau Girls
I Love the 80s (Strikes Back)
Racheal Ray’s show (the 30-minute meals one)
Reruns of the Golden Girls
World War II stuff on the History Channel
Hollywood Breakups, When Models Go Bad, and the True Hollywood Story of the Women of Desperate Housewives (E! is the best channel ever).

As if this weren’t bad enough, two Saturdays ago, I hung out on my neighbor’s couch and watched more than 6 hours of SoapNet. That’s an entire week’s worth of General Hospital and a couple of other shows. This Saturday, I skipped the gym so I could watch the Thursday and Friday episodes of General Hospital (Robin goes on a date with Dr. Hottie! Jason catches Sonny and Emily kissing! Robert Scorpio is alive and still hot!). I could actually feel the brain cells dying, but I couldn’t tear myself away.

What do I do? Should I just give in to the inevitable? Or can I save myself from cable? Should I just get rid of all those books I was planning to read, because if I get cable, I’m just not going to have time for them. Sorry Proust, I’ve got other priorities now.

8 Comments:

  • At 1/30/06, 4:28 PM, Blogger bryc3 said…

    this is exactly the reason i don't watch shows with baby. i know i will get drawn in. hell, i was genuinely concerned with what was going on with the queer as folk guys last year. the tipping point is about a half hour. if i watch more than that, i'm hooked.

    studies have repeatedly shown that people greatly underestimate the amount of time they spend watching tv. you already watch a lot. getting cable will only make it worse. nobody ever turns fifty and thinks, 'damn, i wish i had watched more tv.'

    doesn't the weather outside today make you think of spring? do you really wanna spend all of May sitting on your couch?

     
  • At 1/30/06, 7:05 PM, Blogger Big Sky Girl said…

    we have exactly the opposite problem. I have digital platinum plus, and I watch WAY too much TV. I'm going to down grade to Gold and see if that helps. But I still hate being in class on nights when my shows are on.

     
  • At 1/31/06, 4:33 PM, Blogger Nicole said…

    I too don't have cable, but I'm itching for it. The drivel that is MTV, I'm addicted. SoapNet - I'll admit I adore General Hospital, ever since I was 5 and used to watch it with my mom when I got home from kindergarten. But then I too think that I don't have enough time, I work too much. And when things were on-again with the ex, I could lounge at his place and catch up, but now they're finally off-again (I'm pretty sure it was a reasonable compromise - bad relationship vs. free cable tv). But my mind keeps coming back to the glory that is DVR, recording my fav shows when I'm out...

     
  • At 1/31/06, 4:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    DON'T DO IT! It's a proven scientific fact that TV makes you stupid. Wasn't there a big article in Science about this? I can actually *feel* myself getting dumber while watching, can't you?

    Besides, cable seems to be a big gym motivator for you. If you can watch E! at home, why go to the gym? -L

     
  • At 1/31/06, 6:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    off topic, but I wanted to share. I thought of you immediately:

    Renee Zellweger's Sour Lemon Candy -L

     
  • At 1/31/06, 9:54 PM, Blogger Lucy said…

    Save yourself. I refuse to have cable for the same reason (I regretfully cop to an addiction to TLC's Baby Story), so I only check it out when I'm in a hotel somewhere. Resist!

     
  • At 2/1/06, 12:49 AM, Blogger Marci said…

    I don't have cable either girl, don't give in to the pressure! I do so much more stuff that would normally revolve around TV...it's so much better (and cheaper living without). Take the $480 you'd spend on cable a year (is that close, I am totally guessin) and do something much much cooler.

     
  • At 2/1/06, 7:00 PM, Blogger Lady Tiara said…

    wow, pretty much everyone is against the cable! good points, everyone, particularly from Marcy about the yearly cost. when you break it down by the month, it doesn't sound like so much, but 500 bucks sounds much more substantial.

    and the renee zellweger thing is hysterical. what is up with her always pursing her lips like that?

     

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